Up Close & Personal
photography // Coco Dandridge
It’s cool outside, but the warmth from the sunlight spills in from the floor-to-ceiling windows.
It feels crazy to even say that, because around this time last year I was just moving into my new home, moving up rather from a place where train and traffic noises were my daily soundtrack.
Moving here was a leap of faith. The rent was a little higher than I wanted it to be, but I told myself that the sacrifice would be worth the reward. That everything would work out once I took the first step. God is my provider, and while I believe in utilizing the gift of wisdom, I couldn’t help but feel like my belief in His capabilities was limited by my fear of fully trusting Him. The only thing I had to lose was my sanity by staying in a place that no longer served me.
Since breaking my lease and breaking up with fear, I’ve elevated in a way that even I sometimes find hard to believe. Over the last few months, I’ve paid off all of my debt, bought my first car in cash, got my business together, all while sleeping soundly through the night, which was once a luxury for me.
I also continued to explore the depths of who I am, allowing myself to dive into the world of dating, but this time from a healthy place. Thus, I dated differently. Not with desperation or false hope, but with clarity and a clear mind to walk away from anything that didn’t feel right, or that was less than I deserved. A woman is most dangerous when she knows her worth. And with each experience, I grew more confident in the person that I had spent years making whole. This is who I always imagined myself being.
I was no longer becoming.
I was her.
I am.
As warm weather transitions to cool winds, I’ve gladly settled into a place of stillness. I’ve shifted my thoughts from fun and to a place of freedom. I desire to live how I want, go where I want, do the work that I want, with who I want without limitations or worry. Which, in and of itself, is a luxury. These last few months have been about me mapping out that plan, and quietly executing on that vision. It’s requiring me to shift the way I think and embrace the unknown.
But honestly, I’ve always loved a good adventure. I tend to thrive best in places of uncertainty.
