There’s Nothing Wrong With Being A Woman

There’s nothing wrong with being a woman. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to cook him a good meal after he walks through the door with weary eyes and a tired soul--the weight of the world sliding off his slumped shoulders as you rush to greet him with a warm smile, soft kisses and hugs.

He needs that.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to comfort and care for him, to give him deep massages, allowing your fingertips to gently tickle the spine that curves under the pressure of having to go out and be a man in a world where he’s undervalued and unappreciated—taking orders, being told that his intellect doesn’t match those of other ethnicities, reminded everyday that he’s replaceable.

After a day like that, he needs your love.

There’s nothing wrong with being a nurturer. It’s what we’ve been created to do from birthing babies suckling on our breasts to allowing your man to lay against your chest not speaking, just breathing. Embracing the quiet moments when two can become one without any exchange of bodily fluids, just an exchange of thoughts that are whispered once he let’s down his guard because you’ve built up his confidence.

He knows he can trust you, listen to you, learn from you, and that’s why he cherishes you.

There’s nothing wrong with investing in his dreams. Because for decades he’s been sold fantasies of white picket fences and expensive college degrees. He’s been told that if he goes the easier corporate route he’s guaranteed financial success and happiness, and that if he just sets aside his innate passions it’ll all be worth it for the wife, family, and kids that he’ll be able to care for without the stress of not having enough. But he’s seen what a dream deferred does to a man. He’s seen how it’s led to fragmented families, how jumping in too soon later led to broken homes, and he doesn’t want that. He wants fulfillment, and he wants a woman who understands that the road may not be easy, but it’s necessary for long-term happiness. He’s a visionary.

And he wants your support.

There’s nothing wrong with giving. For if you are blessed to have more than enough even small sacrifices don’t compare to the value that you will hold in his heart. He recognizes your royalty even if he doesn’t always say it.

There’s nothing wrong with being a woman, but there is something wrong when we allow the hurt and pain from past relationships (with boys who had yet to grow into men) to take away our womanhood. There’s something wrong when we have to question whether we’re doing too much because what we expected to be our return on investment didn’t match what we deposited. We forget that some things are priceless and can’t compare to another. Those late night conversations he had encouraging, building and uplifting you. The small, but meaningful gestures that required him to step out of his comfort zone just to put a smile on your face. They may not be grand to you, but for him they meant the world.

We’re afraid to be women because we’ve given so much to the wrong man that we no longer want to give to the right ones, just in case we have to deal with that heartbreak again. We build walls that tear down relationships and refuse to let in what’s not guaranteed. We’re afraid to take risks and wonder why we’re not rewarded.

But I say there’s nothing wrong with being a woman. Because even if the wrong guy doesn’t appreciate you, you could be the reason why he appreciates the next woman—breaking a vicious cycle through your sincerity and authenticity. And once you let him go you’ll make room for the one who is right, and if you remain open, if you continue to embrace your womanhood instead of holding back, you can give your all.

And this time, yeah this time, it’ll all work out just fine.